Remember when I hurt myself a month ago? I'm still hurt. And honestly, I'm freaking tired of it. Not to get all emotional and all about it... but for the past several nights I've been bawling my little eyes out to my sweet husband about how crappy I feel, and he hugs me and listens to me and is so super sweet to me that I actually feel a little bit better.
Anyway... I have been taking pretty powerful pain medicine (not naproxen, vicodin) and muscle relaxers for a MONTH now. And going to physical therapy and doing everything I'm supposed to do, and I'm still crying at night because I'm really uncomfortable and in pain (and I'm not a wimp- I have an extremely high pain tolerance)
Alok and Sarah came to visit this weekend (with their happy baby, Kiran), and Alok just happens to be a brain/spinal surgeon, so I told him what was going on and he asked if anyone had given me any steroids. That was something we hadn't tried yet (which is kind of crazy, in retrospect), so Alok called in a blister pack for me and I started them today, and I have actually had a pretty darn good day!
Tonight I can't sleep, because I'm uncomfortable again (I'm guessing that this will be better by tomorrow, because it's SO MUCH BETTER than it has been.) I meet my mentee teachers (aren't mentors supposed to call their peeps "protoges"? wasn't that a seinfeld episode?) and I'm pretty excited, except for the fact that I am getting up at 5:30 and it is currently 12:30. I just gave my entire lower body a massage with generic BenGay from Target (I would have said IcyHot, but BenGay is much funnier). I am getting pretty sleepy though, so I'm about to go join Tom in our bed- with my awesome old man BenGay smell.
These last few weeks have been very difficult for me. I have had this injury, which has removed running as my go-to outlet for stress. I have also been weaning off of an anti-depressant that I took for a few months (the last school year was H A R D, so lots of us took anti-depressants, and even more left, and a few did both!) which has been extremely difficult. Even more so because we aren't supposed to talk about those things, right? I was feeling like CRAP the other day at a training, and some people asked if I was ok, and I couldn't exactly tell them what was REALLY going on.
However, I have to say that I'm proud of the way I have handled it. I talked and cried to my husband, and felt completely better about everything that is going on. I reached out to my lady-friends, which also helped. Mostly, I think I kind of just let myself have a few moments of feeling bad (and feeling bad ABOUT it) and then I've tried to really make lemonade out of those lemons.
Today was a great day, and we made lots of lemonade.
-said goodbye to Sarah and Alok and Kiran, who I wish I could have spent more time with.
- Church- we ushered, which is always kind of fun and makes me feel important.
- our congregation voted on a new pastor, and he was voted on unanimously! He starts in September, and that means that as soon as he is installed, my husband is officially OFF the call committe, and on the watching Sopranos with my wife in my face committee.
- Stopped in for a 50th wedding anniversary reception at the church- really cute couple. They must have been babies when they got married.
- went to Target to pick up my perscription, a pair of really cute zebra print flats, some footless tights, name tags, and a monkees CD (that was not my selection, but I"m sure I'll load it on my computer so I can belt out daydream believer).
- Went to potbelly where we had delicious sammiches, and I still have half for tomorrow.
- Back to Target because we forgot a card and gift for a tiny friend who is getting baptized next weekend.
- Off to a nursing home to see our friend Jim from St. Martin's, who is so young and is really suffering from Altheizmers. That was sad, and made me cry a little. He didn't understand what to do with the communion that we wanted to give him, so I took it for him.
- To Linda's house to see her dog, Buddy Ray, who had a seizure or stroke or something on Saturday- poor little guy.
- Over to the rehab center to see Stoney. He was doing ok, but he's usually pretty tired by that time of the day. We did fill him in about the new pastor though.
- grocery shopping!
- came home and made dinner for us and Iris while Tom washed everyone's cars!
- ate dinner while watching the Olympics
- made my lunch and prepped a bunch of stuff
- made cookies
- took a bath
- went to bed (but now I'm up).
Ok- I'm going back to bed! Wish me luck! Even Sunshine is snoring.
